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Michael Bolton Is Angry.

Michael Bolton beats the sh*t out of the printer that represents everything he hates about Michael Bolton.
Michael Bolton beats the sh*t out of the printer that represents everything he hates about Michael Bolton.

You’d be angry too if you were robbed of your name and then had your entire identity hijacked by a “no-talent ass-clown” who became famous and started winning Grammys in the 90s.

This man’s led a life of mediocrity and ridicule all his existence, all the while his talents have gone unnoticed and his unrealized potential has fermented into indignation.

Now, they’re trying to take the only thing he has left in his otherwise miserable existence: His love of stand-up comedy.

No-talent ass-clowns are everywhere today

And they’re slowly watering down the only remaining drink at the bar that still had a punch to it. The daily punch that I’ve been faithfully relying on to help me drown out the voices in my head, constantly reminding me of my miserable existence and the inevitable end to this meaningless facade of a life I’ve been living.

All that’s left now is this meaningless suffering.

And why? Just because Brendan Schaub sucks at fighting or because Amy Schumer’s too pigly to be a real movie star?

F*ck that

I won’t let them take this from me.

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