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How Is This Not Child Abuse? (Bert Kreischer)

This man should not be raising children.
This man should not be raising children.

Remember back when forcing your teenage daughter to listen to you talk openly about your penis, and then posting it for the world to see, was actually an acceptable thing to do?

No?

Well that’s your f*cking problem, because it’s a perfectly fine thing to do now, and you’re the odd man out.

Here’s the backup just in case: https://youtu.be/H3LeiFe8TQ0

View this post on Instagram

@bertkreischer sharing his new Netflix special 'Hey Big Boy' with his daughters. Stream it now and share it with someone you love. #heybigboy #bertkreischer #somethingsburning

A post shared by All Things Comedy (@allthingscomedy) on Mar 29, 2020 at 4:30pm PDT

It’s Just Jokes Bro

It's just just jokes.

If you find this repulsive, then you need to lighten up and get with the program.

Becuase this is what comedy’s all about now.

F*ck being funny, it’s all about taking your shirt off in public and grooming your daughter for the stripper pole.

Don’t like it?

Too f*cking bad.

Modern times have brought us a different brand of comedy, and you’re gonna have to adjust your tastes if we’re gonna get along.

The decent upstanding citizens of a new generation.
The decent upstanding citizens of a new generation.

Still not happy?

What The F*uck You Gonna Do About It?

Probably nothing.

You’re either a clueless boomer who refuses to get with the program or a useless millennial who can’t be bothered to lift a finger to save your own life.

There’s no way you could do anything about this. How could you? I mean, you’re totally helpless.

You certainly couldn’t tell his wife about this. She would probably freak the f*uck out.

His friends?

Well, Billy Bitch Tits probably approved this post since he’s the head honcho at ATC, so that probably wouldn’t help.

And I heard that his buddy Tom’s been in a huge beef with him lately. So that plan’s out.

Maybe Tom’s wife’s got enough of a heart to step in, but she’s probably busy with Theo Von right now. So that probably won’t work either.

Oh well.

I’m sure that a couple of well meaning comments on his video will solve the problem.

No need to worry about it.

I’m sure it’ll be fine.

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Carson says

    April 3, 2020 at 12:55 am

    When I was Bert’s daughters age I was having sex and tripping acid. There not children. I remember getting extremely angry and my parents for not talking to me about sex or drugs, they were very reserved people. Treating me like a 9 year old when I was 15. This isn’t abuse man, I’d say a healthy family openly talks about sex drugs body parts etc. It’s unhealthy family that just ignores those things. I don’t think there is anything wrong with what he said, putting it online for everyone to see? That’s a different story, I disagree with it but its not abuse.

    Reply
    • Michael Bolton says

      April 3, 2020 at 1:00 am

      If that had been a private moment inside their family, then I’d say maybe. Still creepy to me, but I guess not to other people.

      But to exploit her discomfort in front of millions of people like that for publicity is perverse.

      Everything is for sale with these people.

      Reply
      • Bert is a fat fugg says

        August 16, 2022 at 10:45 pm

        I agree with you there. I would not say this is abuse in anyway and detracts from people/children who suffer actual abuse.

        However, it is really disgusting and a pretty shitty thing for a parent to do. This doesnt make you the cool dad or hip or funny. Its disgusting to hear that and have your dad cackle like a seagull getting its neck wrung behind you.

        He is a narcissistic attention whore and a full blown alcoholic. He will be sad when his liver and kidneys are failing and hes dying looking back on how shitty of a parent he was.

        Reply
        • Michael Bolton says

          August 30, 2022 at 1:36 am

          Well said.

          Reply
  2. Rhi says

    May 16, 2020 at 7:54 pm

    Gen-Xers are the woooooooorst. If this isn’t satire, you should be embarrassed. This whole site is bonkers.

    Reply
  3. Michael says

    June 17, 2020 at 8:31 pm

    God damn you’re one whiney bitch.

    Reply
    • Michael Bolton says

      August 13, 2020 at 3:33 am

      Is this a Bill Mahr comment?

      Reply
  4. Jerome Mandan says

    November 5, 2020 at 8:54 am

    Dude…Bert’s vid was hilarious. My dad talked to me about sex stuff growing up, and made jokes while I was in the room as a teen. I mean, she’s a teenager ffs, not a toddler. You’re being WAY too sensitive.

    And let me clue you in on something buddy: Everyone fucks their kids up. If they mean to or not. It’s just the way it is and really to what extent. I’ve got friends who grew up in crackhouses, seeing their mom passed out with a needle in her arm. Now THEY shouldn’t have had kids.

    But your dad showing you a dick joke to embarrass you, who gives a fuck. I was born in 1993. I’m not a boomer, and people like you give our gen a bad name. Whiny little cunt.

    Reply
    • Michael Bolton says

      November 27, 2020 at 1:11 pm

      “Everyone fucks their kids up”? No, they don’t. But this can seem normal if that’s all you see around you.

      This guy brought a whole camera crew into his house, let them record his own family members in very uncomfortable situations, and used it to get more fame. Pretending like this was an organic moment between a dad and a daughter is completely missing the point. This was manufactured to gain clicks. A little different than a dad making a d*ck joke to his son/daughter in private.

      Reply
  5. X says

    November 27, 2020 at 8:05 am

    Thank you for providing links to contact protective services. His family podcasts are even worse. I took his stand-up at satirical value, but watching him interact on a podcast with his wife and child was the most abusive situation I’ve ever seen. I’ll happily contact every link involved. Provocative does not equate to progressive. I appreciate the resources.

    Reply
  6. Rob says

    January 2, 2021 at 4:07 pm

    Jesus, what is wrong with all of you? Don’t you have your own life to worry about. He has a solid family foundation & is in a very loving family. You would know that if you didn’t cherry pick clips to support your outrageous claims. Move on…

    Reply
    • Jordan (Big-Mouth) McLeod says

      January 18, 2021 at 10:51 pm

      “He has a solid family foundation”. We’ll see about that. I bet that his entire family resents that manchild.

      Reply
  7. Ben says

    January 4, 2022 at 4:51 pm

    you guys are literally the most sensitive whiny fucking people, idk why YOU are taking an issue with how another man and his family behave with each other. Like clearly his daughter and wife love him if you actually know or watch anything from/about him or his family. Like its COMEDY and saying thats an “excuse” doesn’t make it so, it’s a fact. If you took every little thing said in comedy at face value you would probably be a horrible other worldly cynic, who thinks making a dick joke to your daughter equates to ACTUAL child abuse. Like yk there are children who are being verbally and physically abused on the daily right? And instead of investing your time into making actual change for them (people who truly need this help,) you spent however many hours writing this stupid ass article lol. Like man get your shit together🤦🏻‍♂️

    Reply
    • Michael Bolton says

      January 4, 2022 at 5:29 pm

      My s*it is firmly together mi amigo. Bert’s a total talentless degenerate who exploits his family for clicks. Let’s not pretend like fame = talent. It doesn’t. But, the people have spoken, and apparently, he’s now a “comedian”; Like taking your shirt off in public, telling BS stories about the Russian mafia, and laughing maniacally to avoid the embarrassment of having no skill now somehow considered being a talent.

      Some of us have standards. This monkey clearly does not meet those standards. This article is as true today as it was when it was written. Treat this like the bible my mans, trust me, it will help you find the light.

      Adam Sandler sees it. It’s just a matter of time until everyone else does too – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ppMktxbOLw

      Reply
  8. Cody says

    May 1, 2022 at 5:41 pm

    Man grow tf up and stop trying to attack everyone people like you who make post like this are pieces of shit, get a fucking life and stop tryna ruin someone else cuz I guarantee Bert is an amazing father who would do anything for his kids, and who tf do you think you are commenting on someone’s else’s life you entitled fucking retard you have no say on how he raises his kids and if you think that you do or you have any room to comment on someone’s else’s life your fucking delusional need help

    Reply
    • Michael Bolton says

      July 29, 2022 at 7:48 pm

      I’ve approved your comment Cody, but that doesn’t mean I approve of what you have to say. We both know who this guy is. It’s just a matter of time until you admit it to yourself.

      Reply

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