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The Heckle

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FAQ’s

I get a lot of questions sent to me at talkbackbolton@gmail.com. Most of the questions I get are total Sh*t. So I’m answering the questions you would be asking if you had a couple of more brain cells to rub together.

Q: How do you always manage to have the right opinions?

A: Unlike the rest of you, I perform high levels of due diligence before forming my opinions. It takes mountains of research, a hawkish instinct for detecting bullsh*t, and the logical prowess of a greek philosopher to think at my level.

Q: What do you do for a living?

A: I normally tell people in my personal life that I run a successful import/export business. In reality, I ran a Ponzi scheme between 2003 and 2005 that netted me a ton of cash. I never got caught, and now I’m living large.

Q: What does your family think of you spending all your spare time writing well-researched, carefully crafted, masterpieces on the internet?

A: I abandoned my wife and 3 kids in 2018 so I could get a solid 8 hours of sleep at night without having to deal with their BS.

Turned out to be one of the best decisions of my life. Now, they can keep all their opinions to themselves.

You got more questions? talkbackbolton@gmail.com

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